Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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