You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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