Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This is the high leading the old right now
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
