that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
never play flip cup with pint glasses
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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