Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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