Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
