Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
