(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
