Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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