was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
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I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
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Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
did you just send me my own nude
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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