He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
