some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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