fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
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Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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