Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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