so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
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