this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
