So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
