Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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