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On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
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