he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
