The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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