Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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