Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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