First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
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Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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