You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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