Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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