if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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