spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
