There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
