it's not cheating when I paid for it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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