In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
