yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
