And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
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I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
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Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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