I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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