"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
