so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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