No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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