He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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