Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
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I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
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should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?