Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream