Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
someone owes me an orgasm
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....