If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.