Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about

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  (773): i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about http://tfl.nu/411c
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  (415): View more from California

  I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.

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  (415): I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic. http://tfl.nu/mbng
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.

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  (443): repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. http://tfl.nu/ux00
  Replies (16) Good night (5569) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy

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  (678): I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy http://tfl.nu/r472
  Replies (11) Good night (4354) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.

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  (978): I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there. http://tfl.nu/oxsp
  Replies (9) Good night (3114) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!

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  (512): On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!! http://tfl.nu/5462
  Replies (2) Good night (2208) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.

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  (570): As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen. http://tfl.nu/y5cy
  Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (2377) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is

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  (703): Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is http://tfl.nu/4n15
  Replies (7) Good night (1136) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?

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  (330): if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck? http://tfl.nu/xqma
  Replies (8) Good night (692) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously

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  (360): he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously http://tfl.nu/w3a5
  Replies (3) Good night (1705) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.

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  (260): Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed. http://tfl.nu/ajvn
  Replies (5) Good night (2147) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life

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  (719): I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life http://tfl.nu/rr8c
  Replies (5) Good night (1167) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again

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  (410): holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again http://tfl.nu/wjyj
  Replies (8) Good night (1131) Bad night (285) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.

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  (615): She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light. http://tfl.nu/1kuc
  Replies (8) Good night (1494) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions

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  (410): I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions http://tfl.nu/ho2j
  Replies (4) Good night (401) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt

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