There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
