I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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