i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
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one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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