My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish I only lived at night.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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