when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize