The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
