new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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