he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
