My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
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Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
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I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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