I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.