names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
