dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize