don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
